September 25, 2016


Posted in Introspection, Uncategorized tagged , , , at 9:33 am by Venus Viswambharan

She listens, She understands,
When unable to understand she gives silence and space,
For the other person to fill , whether they understand themselves or not,
She is pushing, encouraging, lifting so many up,
She learns to be the other person- may it be her husband, her kids, her parent in laws, her sibling in laws…

Learning a new language, to cook the way they like , to dress like the new family wants..
She borrows new likes, new joys, new adventures, from all around her.. Never saying she doesn’t know how to do something, To reach harmony, to roll smoothly connecting so many lives…

She is changing, tweaking , sometimes with resistance, but mostly not even conscious of the huge metamorphosis that happens within herself..

And she Changes !

Becomes someone else…

She leaves behind who she knew she was,
Not even barely remembering what she liked, what she enjoyed, what made her heart sing…


Not hating a bit the process, she does it without realising, something the society has taught her, every woman before her has done, has taught her by being themselves a woman.

That is who a woman is….

I see them daily around me…
My ma, my mom in law, my cousin, my daughter, my friend my neighbour the lady that works at my home, the lady who works with me…

Until she can’t take it no more…

Then she is labelled
As bold!
As uncompromising
As a person who doesn’t understand
As a rude/ mean person
A loose character
A home wrecker…

But then there are men look around you..

Who help,
Push her to be more than she is …
To be who she truly is
Giving her wings to fly..

dad family.jpg


I see him too as my husband, my father, my brother, my father in law, my friend , my cousin…

This wife, daughter , sister , daughter in law, friend or cousin is strong, She is who she is because of them…

I have witnessed the lady that works in our home too is so strong, so confident because of that man who values her, who stands by her, handling their home their kids together! Their low income status or sparse education did not prevent this – he too “wanted” to contribute.. He felt the need.

So many women are who they are because of them…!

And then there are men who believe
Raising kids,
Cleaning the home,
Caring for and understanding the husbands parents and her own,
Caring for the husband’s range of needs, from sex,  feeding him wholesome food , ironing their clothes punctually and clearing after them  (when he is an adult himself?)
Expecting no appreciation.
Changing ,

As it is expected of her,
As it Is a mandate!
It just Should be done!
Cause as per society
As per the natural law of nature
They are supposed to do so?

I ask you really?
I ask you men, really?



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